"Dating & Domestic Violence" by Dillon J. Quintana
You hear about it every day, on the evening news, in the paper, on the streets, and in casual conversation. It's domestic and dating violence, it's almost common place for people to discuss it and act as if it's okay for it to be happening. I am not sure if in today's world, that people are just so used to domestic abuse happening or if we are all so shocked and hurt by it occurring so often, that we just turn a blind eye to the problem and pretend that it doesn't happen. It is happening, everyday, in every neighborhood. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, white or black, domestic violence does not discriminate, it can happen to anyone. I never realized that it was such a huge problem, but after doing some research on the subject, I read that domestic violence is the biggest cause of injury for women. It affects the entire family not just the victim. One out of every four women in the United States will be a victim of some form of domestic violence and one out of every three women murdered is done so at the hands of a loved one. This information completely blew me away, I had no idea that domestic violence was such a problem and so widespread.
I guess one of the reasons that I was never really aware of this enormous problem is because I come from a very loving and caring family, where it is odd to even hear my parents argue about things, no less actually fight over them. I could never imagine my dad ever hitting my mom or making her feel unsafe and in fear. I consider myself very blessed to have been raised in this environment and to not have to go through the trauma and turmoil that these families have to endure. I am sure that by even being a witness to these kinds of events, it must have a lifelong effect on them. The feelings of helplessness, anger, sadness, it all must be pretty overwhelming to these individuals.
I personally witnessed one of my classmates being physically abused by her boyfriend when we were in junior high. The image of her being drug to her boyfriend's truck, in the school parking lot, by her hair and the principal running after them trying to help her, will forever stick in my head. My classmate was in 7th or 8th grade and had a boyfriend that was 21. She had been going out with him for a while and she had just found out she was pregnant. The morning bell had just rang and we were all at our lockers getting ready to go to class when her boyfriend came into the building and started hitting her. People were yelling and trying to get him to stop and a few teachers came to try to help her. Someone ran to the front office to get help, but by that time he was already dragging her out of the building. He got her into the pickup and left, but not before her face was bloody and bruised and already swelling from him hitting her. I can remember her reaching out to us for help and a look on her face like there was no one in the would that could possibly help her. The cops were called and we all had to be questioned about what we saw. We were really freaked out and worried about her and wondered how someone could just come into our school, beat up our friend, and basically kidnap her. Basically, that was the end of it. After a few days she came back to school and everybody acted like nothing had ever happened, her boyfriend never went to jail and no one ever spoke about it. Shortly after that incident, she quit school, had her baby and end up living with that same guy that had taken her from the school. None of us ever really had a lot of contact with her because her boyfriend wouldn't allow it, but rumor had it that he beat her up often and she stayed with him because she loved him. Several years later, actually our Junior year in high school, she left that guy and came back to school so she would be able to graduate with our class. Her baby is now in Kindergarten and she swears she will never let another guy hurt her the way he did. No one from our class ever really talks about it to this day, but when it is brought up, everyone just jokes about it and laughs like it is a big joke. I often wonder how she could have stayed with him after what he did to her, why he never got into trouble for any of the crimes he committed that day - assault, kidnapping, sex with a minor - and how helpless she must have felt when no one was able to stop him from dragging her to that pickup and how scared and alone he must have made her feel. I can't ever imagine doing that do another person, no one should have that kind of control and power over someone else, ever.
One positive thing that came from that day is, I swore I would never hit a woman no matter what the circumstance was. I would never make another person feel helpless and afraid and I would do everything in my power to stop someone else from being hurt. Domestic and dating violence is a real problem in the world today, I think that people need to be made more aware of the problem and make it known that it will not be tolerated and that it is not acceptable to hurt or terrorize someone. Maybe if more people were aware that there is a problem, it would make it easier for those that are being abused to come forward and get the help that they need. We all need to work together to prevent domestic and dating violence.
Dillon Quintana, 2012 SLV Break the Cycle Scholarship Recipient
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