February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. A few months ago, I contact all the high school counselors and principals in the San Luis Valley asking to speak this month to their students. Of the many schools in the SLV, I only heard back from three and I have so far spoke at two: Creede and Center. Center asked me to not only speak to their high school students, but also their middle school. They also asked me to hold a workshop on the subject for some of the students and I will be holding a workshop for parents of the students in March.
I was very anxious when I decided to do these presentations because I'm scared to death of public speaking. I have been asked to speak at small organizational meetings, but have never spoke to a group the size of a high school. I was glad I spoke to Creede High School first. I had revamped my presentation probably three or four times before I came up with what I presented. I found a video created by El Paso County Social Services to promote dating violence awareness and open my presentation with the video. I decided not to speak or introduce myself until after the video (link to video below). Creede is a very small school, so I only presented to about 20 people, which was nice. The students were very respectful and attentive and after speaking to some of the faculty at the school, I gained confidence in my presentation. One of the male faculty members said he thought opening up with the video grabs the student's attention. I walked away from the presentation feeling good about the presentation and with a gained confidence in myself.
Last week on February 13th, I spoke at Center Middle/High School. There were about 150 students at both presentations. I was very surprised that the Middle School students were as inquisitive as they were. I expected more feedback and questions from the high school students. After the presentation, I had a number of questions from some of the middle school students and had a young man come up to me and told me he had just broken up with his girlfriend. A couple of his friends were joking around with him about it. After each presentation, it was announced that I would be holding a workshop on dating violence. I had about 25-30 students attend the workshop, the majority were middle school students. The young man who had talked to me after the presentation was present for the workshop. Part of my workshop included passing out a handout of Rights and Responsibilities in a Relationship. When we were reviewing a person's rights in a relationship, the young man said that he had not had these rights in his relationship. I think it hit him at that moment that he had been in an abusive and controlling relationship. He first joked and laughed about it, as did some of the other boys. I said it's not funny, it is serious. They all said they thought it was funny because it was a guy being abused. I then explained that guys can be abused as well and we discussed the seriousness of the situation. I was very proud of him for being willing to talk about his relationship, so that others in the room would not feel alone and see that men can also be victims of dating/domestic violence. After I finished my portion of the workshop, I let the students ask me questions. They had some great questions, which ranged from general dv questions to personal questions about my own experience. One young lady asked me how she could help someone she thought was being abused. Another asked me if I had trouble entering into another relationship after being abused and another asked me if I had forgiven my ex-husband for the abuse in our marriage. I was really impressed by these students and their eagerness to learn and share. I look forward to talking to these students parents next month and hope they are as receptive as their children.
You can view my presentation to Center High School by visiting my YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/heatherdmeyer.
~ Nationally, 1 in 3 high school students experience some sort of abuse in their relationship.
~ 40% of girls ages 14-17 know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by their partner.
~ 80% of girls who are abused continue to date their abuser.
~ 85% of DV victims are women and 15% are men.
~ Boys who witness or are victims of DV are twice as likely to abuse their own children and partners
as adults.
~ 45% of murdered women in Colorado are murdered by an intimate partner.
~ The number one location for DV is in the victim or abusers home.
As an adult, 1 in 4 women will experience or will have experienced dating/domestic violence. Dating/domestic violence is twice as likely to occur to a woman than breast cancer (breast cancer rates are 1 in 8). While it is important to promote Breast Cancer Awareness and Prevention, it is just as important to promote Dating & Domestic Violence Awareness and offer support to the quarter of the female population in America who are living in fear of their intimate partners. This is why I hope to get into more schools and do more presentations on a local, state and hopefully national level. These women (and men) need to know that they are not alone, there is support and help available to them and that they can have a bright, fearless, violence free future.
Link to Video used in Presentation:
Part 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ11945KwZc
Part 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=074i9C-6LoA
