Listening to Others

In my experience, listening to former girlfriends or spouses of your partner is a good indicator of what kind of boyfriend or spouse that person will be (or can be). It's something no one wants to hear, that your boyfriend or spouse has been abusive to another woman. My reaction when I was told that someone I was dating was abusive..."this woman is just jealous because I'm with him now and she wishes she could be with him again." Little did I know, this woman was actually trying to look out for me. She told me about her experience with this man and I blew her off. My relationship with him wasn't like that. He would never push or hit me. He would never do anything to harm me. That was what I kept telling myself. However, after over two years of dating, it happened....the first push. That was the beginning of the abusive relationship I was in and I had been warned.

With that being said, if someone tells you that he or she has been abused by an ex-boyfriend or husband, look for signs that the relationship you are in could be or end up abusive:

Isolation: Is your boyfriend or husband keeping you away from your family and friends or limiting the time you spend with others outside of your relationship?
Change in Emotions: Have you gone from happy when you're with your boyfriend/husband to sad and depressed in your relationship?
Constant Communication: Does your boyfriend/husband have to be in constant communication with you (calling/texting) and gets upset if you don't answer or respond immediately? Does he always want to know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing?
Jealousy: Does your boyfriend/husband become upset if you mention another guys name, whether it's a friend or colleague? Does he get upset when you want to spend time with your girlfriends? Did he tell you he loved you early on in the relationship to keep you under his emotional control?
Background: Does your boyfriend/husband come from a tragic home life? Did his parents abuse drugs or alcohol? Was he abused as a child? What have previous partners told you about him?
Need to Impress: Is he telling you how to dress, cut your hair, what to eat, who to be friends with? Do you feel like he won't leave you or will leave you if you don't do what he suggests?
Making Excuses: Do you find yourself defending your boyfriend/husband's statements or actions?
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you could be in an abusive relationship and should take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship and situation.

I leave you with a really great song a friend introduced me to by Christina Aguilera and another good one by Katy Perry:

This song gives me chill bumps (Christina Aguilera - Oh Mother)
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_BZQ77akOg

(Katy Perry - Pearl)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6Y4y6ka3y4&feature=fvwrel